50 Shades of Parody

Since I lurk on Jenny Trout’s (aka Abigail Barnette) blog, I have discovered there are quite a few parodies of 50 Shades of Grey.  Some of them aren’t that great, but others are amusing.  Here are the links to two on Smashwords:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/354289

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/357764

I also wanted to point out that I found out why Abigail’s The Boss is no longer on Smashwords.  She wanted it free on Amazon and is trying the Kindle Select route (something that did not work for me AT ALL, so I wish her luck).  It will be back on Smashwords for free once their 90 day exclusivity has expired.  Definitely check it out, though I have unfortunately heard that the sequel is a bit of a downer.  So as much as I liked the first one, I doubt I’ll buy the second one.  🙁  The first one is definitely worth a read though.

 

September 29th, 2013 by Jude News, Writing Tags: , , , Comments Off on 50 Shades of Parody

Fifty Shades of messed up…Oh, I mean Grey

I posted a review of this book awhile back, and you can read it here.  While I tried to be diplomatic in that review, I can no longer afford to do that.  Well, afford isn’t the right word, since I don’t lose money when anyone buys one, or all, of these atrocious books, but it does hurt me deep inside that any woman would swoon over the main character, Christian Grey.

My sister recommended these books to me.  Yes, my own blood sister.  I’m actually still contemplating how I will broach the topic  that my married sister likes to escape into a fantasy world where the much loved male character gets his kicks from hurting the woman he supposedly cares for.  But that’s for another thing to deal with.

Then the other day I stumbled upon a book written by Abigail Barnette, called The Boss.  I didn’t know when I read it that this story was a “response” to EL James’ horrible trilogy Fifty Shades of…whatever.  The bad thing about this is that the story doesn’t seem available anymore. I read it on Smashwords, but it was soon removed. It’s offered on her blog but is invitation only.  WTF?

Anyway, the main reason I bring up Abigail is that she read the entire trilogy (I don’t know how), and she has recapped the entire sordid affair on her public blog (thank goodness, since it reinforces my initial impulse to not go any further than the first book).

I refuse to go too much into detail on what’s wrong with Christian and Ana from this story.  What I have a problem with is that it was supposedly an alternate universe where Bella Swan meets Edward Cullen from Twilight.  First, let me mention that I have read Twilight and Breaking Dawn, which are mostly from Bella’s POV, so I’m pretty sure I know her personality.  And I’ve read Midnight Sun, where I totally fell in love with Edward, since that takes place from his POV.  So then to read a book which was inititally these two characters in an alternate universe, where Edward is a young billionaire with a sordid past, and Bella is an innocent college graduate, it just fell majorly short.

What are my main problems with 50 Shades of Grey? Well, other than the fact that Edward (Christian) is a messed up 27 years old kid who is somehow richer than Midas, who somehow finds Bella (Ana) and her clumsiness so intriguing that he must possess her by hurting her beyond her capabilities, it is painfully obvious that EL James never read the books, and she probably didn’t even see the movies.  I have read some gossip that she didn’t even like Twilight when she wrote this “epic”, which would explain why she made Edward such an ass.

The main problem with this alternate universe theory, which I would be AMAZED if no one else has brought up, is that Edward was over 100 years old when he met Bella.  So for him to only be 5 years older than her in this “alternate reality” is just plain BS.  The 2nd problem?  Edward would never want to hurt Bella.  He didn’t even want to make her a vampire, since he wanted her to enjoy her life, even leaving her in hope she would have a normal life.

What does Christian (Edward) do when Ana (Bella) finally grows a set and breaks up with him? Of course, he stalks her and glares at any man who dares look or speak to her.  Edward was willing to die for Bella.  I doubt Christian would cross the street to save Ana, unless he could reprimand her for her carelessness and than punish her for such negligence.  Yes, it’s that bad…and worse, since I refuse to read any more of this awful story.  Yes, I guess it’s sort of like a train wreck you can’t look away from, but when that wreck keeps going, and blood and guts continues to be thrown on you for an extended  period of time, eventually any normal person would run (or at the very least walk) away.  Please, at least walk away.

August 29th, 2013 by Jude Reviews, Writing Tags: , , , Comments Off on Fifty Shades of messed up…Oh, I mean Grey
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